


Humiliation rites

by Clocketpatch



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocketpatch/pseuds/Clocketpatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor, Zoe, and Jamie are given a chance to escape their execution, but in return they must undergo a rather awkward ritual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Humiliation rites

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a discussion with a friend the other day about the strange names given to various body parts. It's with Two because there is a distinct lack of _anything_ Two on here and that's not really fair. It's rather funnier if you know the correct terminology. Sorry in advance for my lazy writing and twisted, dirty sense of humor.
> 
> * * *

  
Um, just cause I need a situation. The Doc and company are arrested by the Krastons after Jamie's kilt lifts on an errant breeze and offends the king's dignity.

***

The Doctor is thrown into a cell where Jamie and Zoe are waiting. Jamie immediately goes to harass the guard.

"If you hurt him I'll…"

"It's alright Jamie they didn't hurt me. They just told me what we have done and what they're going to do."

Jamie calms down a little. The guard leaves bolting the door behind him.

"They're going to execute us tomorrow at sunrise."

"You better think of something quick then," says Jamie.

The Doctor looks flustered.

"They did give me another option, but it's difficult."

"Then stop going around the rushes and tell us what it is."

"The Kraston's have a great sense of honour and dignity Jamie, that's why we were arrested in the first place. They believe that it is better to die than to be shamed, and they're willing to let us go if we undergo their humiliation rites."

"What are those?" asks Zoe.

The Doctor starts getting flustered again.

"That's just the thing, to get through we have to shave and present our ewwies."

He pulls a small shaver out of his pocket.

"They gave me this."

"No one's touching my ewwie," Jamie says adamantly.

"I know it's terribly embarrassing, but I'm afraid it's the only way."

"What is an ewwie?" asks Zoe, looking very confused.

"It's the loose skin on the back of one's elbow. I am terribly sorry about this. It's the greatest dishonor the Kraston's know, but we'll be gone soon after and we can forget about this unpleasant place."

"The loose skin on the back of your elbow?" Zoe asks, "Why did you say ewwie then?"

"It's always best to use the correct terminology."

"The loose skin on the back of your elbow is called ewwie?"

"On this planet it is. I'm terribly, terribly sorry. Oh dear, oh dear I'm not sure I can reach mine. Will you help me Jamie?"

"I'm not touching your ewwie."

 

 

 

 

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=9562>


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